Suggestions on How to Support the Parents of Children with Special Needs

Our guest blogger this week is Karen Wolters. Karen is a Professionally Certified Educational Consultant, Regional Educational Consultant and a Middle School Specialist. After spending the last twelve years overseas participating in the fields of business and education, she and her husband are on an extended home assignment in Texas. In her free time she enjoys reading and taking long walks.

First, please note that communication is everything! As an Educational Consultant, your role will take on many facets. An email, text or call from a parent with a child who is struggling needs to be handled carefully. Emotions are often running high, parents want answers, and they want them NOW. Here are a few suggestions to help you as you communicate with the parents of children with special needs:

1. Encourage

The journey from realizing there is a problem to receiving a diagnosis can be a very stressful time. A mixed bag of emotions abound. Parents generally do not plan to be the parent of a child with special needs. Encourage parents to take a deep cleansing breath, give themselves some time to process the information received, and then give their child a great big hug! The time to process is very important because our words, spoken or written, are powerful; they need to be chosen carefully! The hug is equally important because their child has also been experiencing a whole gamut of emotions as they have struggled along the way.

2. Enlighten

Parents may need to approach learning from a different perspective, and grades, for example, are a good starting point. When their child spends hours studying, and yet receives a sixty-five percent on the assessment, a common response would be disappointment and/or wonder as to how their child earned such a low grade. Now suggest the parents change their mindset and say something like, “Wow! You earned sixty-five points! Now let’s see how we can set a higher goal for the next assessment.” As goals are achieved, give a round of applause, and share their achievements with others. Remember, words matter. It is also important to note that the environment at home, positive or negative can have a significant effect on the development of a child with special needs.

3. Educate

            Resources for special needs abound! It may take some time to read through the information, and filter out what is or is not applicable to their child’s specific need, and life may need to change in order for parents to have this time to research the information they need to help their child succeed. Keep in mind that finding the right tools for a learning deficit is an ongoing process, and there often isn’t a “quick fix.” Being informed is valuable because in the world of special needs there can be an enormous gap between the information researchers are providing, and what their child may be receiving in the classroom.

4. Empower

            Try to help the parent transition from a feeling of helplessness and being overwhelmed to a sense of hope that they can parent a child with special needs. When parents find themselves in this role, they often feel incompetent. Patience is key. Seek to shatter their feelings of despair, help them become a beacon of hope, be a resource for both the family, and the child, yet at the same time be careful not to create dependency. Seek to empower the parents themselves to manage their child’s educational plan for optimum success. Their specific involvement in their child’s education is the key to success in the world of special needs.

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