Advice for a Good National School Year

Many of the families we serve have launched into a new school year, using local schools as their chosen option for at least one child in the family. Since most expat parents have not personally attended school in their adopted country, they struggle to grasp some of the rules and cues that each day brings. They also may not realize that an entirely different philosophy of education is in play compared to that with which they are familiar and comfortable. This week’s article gathers advice from three on-field moms who have used national schooling for their own families. Many thanks to Julie, Emily and Diana for responding to the question, 

“What words of advice do you have for families using national/local schools?”

Julie:

1. Grace! Extend grace to both your kids and with the teachers. It will be tough for your kids. Help them celebrate small victories and comfort them during difficult times. Regarding the teacher, remember that different isn’t always wrong. Teaching methods will vary. Show the teacher respect as a professional and grace when there are misunderstandings. 

2. Be partners with your kids’ teachers. Get to know them and be a learner from them. Help them to see that you want the best for your kids, and that includes being in their classroom, learning the language, learning about their country, city, culture.

3. Keep reading to your kids and having them read in their first language. Don’t try to do an entire homeschool program in their first language. Reading is the most important to continue in the first language, however. 

4. Be involved in parent/teacher meetings, school celebrations, etc. If necessary, bring a translator to help you understand. Build community with those in the school.

5. You are an M in your community, but don’t put expectations on your child to be an M in their school. Yes, encourage them to obey and respect their teacher, to be loving and kind, and to do their best. But it is too much for children to be called “little Ms” in their school, especially when they may not be believers themselves! Make this about them learning language, making friends, and learning about the world. Then you, parents, be the Ms – not through your children. 

Emily:

1. Set aside your expectations that national school will be similar to school in your native country.  It will be different, so embrace the differences!

2. Don’t be afraid to take a language helper to Back to School Night or parent-teacher meetings.  They can take notes to review with you later or help ensure verbal communications are not getting “lost in translation.”

3. Try to make a parent friend or two quickly who can be called with questions about a homework assignment or field trip details- they will be an invaluable resource.

4. Ask around about protocol for special days in the school year, i.e., do incoming First Graders get dressed up for the first day of school? Is International Women’s day celebrated by bringing flowers to the teacher(s)? Which national holidays will be celebrated with a day off from school?

5. Pack a survival kit for your child: small pack of tissues, hand sanitizer or wet wipes, small change to buy a snack or a new pencil. Resources can be scarce in National school so try to think through which items might not be available that your child could need.

6. Make sure to ask which books and materials need to be purchased for the school year to be successful.

Diana:

1. Find a national “helper” to take you textbook shopping. In the US, schools pass out books so families aren’t used to having to navigate how to look up texts and know where to buy them. Same goes for supplies. Learning the foreign word for all the school supplies can be overwhelming for those new to the field. 

2. Again, use a national “helper” to introduce family to folktales and national cartoon characters used in schoolwork. I recall in Kindergarten that Simon had to follow a maze and avoid all the “bad” characters from different Russian stories. We didn’t know the stories, so we didn’t know who to avoid! A simple coordination exercise turned into an evening of trying to figure out the characters in stories. 

3. Prepare your kids (and yourselves) for different teaching methods, such as rote learning and “shaming” in front of the class. Or, prepare for your kids to be used as models of what to do. Nationals can take a quick dislike to the “model Americans.”

4. Talk with the teachers to let them get to know your family. Most teachers we met didn’t know how to approach us as foreigners. If our kids did something wrong, they were reluctant to tell us thinking they were being nice. In reality, we needed to know. 

5. Saving face. Understand that reactions from staff, which might seem harsh or cold, can be because they are saving face. 

6. Prepare for first days! Flowers, chocolates. Ask a trusted national helper to make sure you come prepared so your child isn’t the only one without flowers. 

7. Sleep! allow for extra sleep and free time for adjusting. Absorbing languages immersion style is tiring!

8. Don’t worry if your child do not pick up the language as quickly as you hoped. 

9. Watch for bullying and give your kids a lot of time to process meanness from nationals. Our boys were often ridiculed or tricked into be naughty. We needed to get help from the teachers and sometimes spoke to the other children as well. The point is: don’t let your own kids suffer because you don’t speak the language or you don’t want to make waves. Sometimes the mentality is “Let the kids work it out on their own.” For kids new to the culture and language, they often don’t have the knowledge or language to do so. They need advocates. 

10. Get a private tutor to help all subjects, not just the foreign language. 

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